Where I came from; Start to life ?

I believe an introduction is required for my readers. I am the second son of Terry Lee Constien and Cheryl Anne Constien (Lewis). Born In Havre de Grace, I was brought home from the hospital to redpoint. I would reside in that neighborhood for the next 24 years. My Father was a larger than life figure. He Brought a uneasy feeling with his towering appearance. My Father stood 6’7″ without shoes on and was the meanest gentle person you would meet. Never raising his voice, he commanded respect through his calm nature. He would talk to anyone, and they always had a common interest.

My mother was the opposite. A small slender woman, looking small compared to my father. She was… she is not worth mentioning right now. My mother will become the focal point in some of these writings. Her influence on my life and upbringing becomes crystal clear as my future unfolds. I was brought home from the hospital and would remain with Mom until I was weened. Then I became a novelty item, a talking point when my father would mention his two boys. As my mother had said, ‘Once he was off the tit he became Gommies boy’. I nursed longer that I should have. There are six and a half years between my brother and myself. By this time my brother was 8 or 9 and coming into his own with our father. He didn’t want to be with the boring old grandma and it left a void, a void I would fill. My grandmother would be my everything. Living with Gom everything appeared normal, I had other friends that lived with their grandparents. Within my own family there was another relative that my maternal grandmother lived with. I just thought that this was a normal way of life. I didn’t understand that normal kids didn’t walk next door and knock to see their parents. At times they would turn me away, or ignore me only to call Gom and tell her to “keep me over there”.

I was sheltered from the world, protected by Gommy. She would come to wait on me hand and foot. I would give that old women a good run for her money, and she loved it. Gommy passed in March of 1999. I was in the 5th grade. My bubble in life was popped. I stayed home for 2 weeks, Mom allowed it. I was still her baby and even though she was incapable of the love I needed, she would give it her best attempt. I would return to school and finish the 5th grade. My reality would drastically change over that summer.

The truth would take hold quickly, viscously cast into a world I had never seen. Sheltered from any sight of it by Gom, my protector was gone. The summer between 5th grade and 6th grade, I would start a education process like no other. My parents had been full throttle for 20 years. Children were a byproduct or maybe because the universe calls for it. They were not equipped to handle the needs of me, a preteen, or my brother a 15 year old boy with one idea on his mind. The dogs would only eat daily because the food bowl was overly large and filled to the top twice a week.

My Grandmother passed away in March, by summer the household had a new member, my brothers live in girlfriend. She would become my saving grace . With her at the house I would at least eat and have clean clothes. By winter I would be a uncle.

My brother would start his own family at an early age with the blessing of my father. Another one of those normal things that I look back on that should not have been “ok” in my fathers’ opinion. By this time my father was self employed and very successful. Sub-Contracting concrete work from a local wall contractor. This removed my father from the equation for all daylight hours. My father would leave out every morning no later than 6 a.m. whether working or what ever else he may be involved in, we would not see him again until the evening. Just prior to or shortly after sunset. Until I joined the workforce at age 13, I do not recall my father coming home after work.

Mom was only half present and had no rules. She was involved in just as much trouble as myself and we aided each other in our own deceitful deeds. No matter what I did wrong my mother could justify it. My father never questioned my mother, her word was gold and don’t dare question it to him. Many of those in my mothers life can attest to being affected by my fathers undying loyalty to my mother. With the blessing of my mother and the protection of my father I was free, set loose on Redpoint to run wild. No one could control me. The more they tried the worse I would become. The summer of 1999 would be the turning point in my life. The point of no return.